Chapter 7: Slowly Falling

We ended up having our order for take-out.

Blake wanted us to hang out in his apartment instead. If there's one thing I know about Blake Garette is his need for physical contact when he's not feeling okay. He's very bothered about something. I strongly believe that it's because of Bianca.

The ride to his apartment was silent. I didn't bother trying to lift up the mood. I just held his hand.

Upon arriving at Blake's place, he immediately took off his leather jacket and crashed on the sofa. His loft looks like any other bachelor's pad. He's got this big black leather sofa, an enormous widescreen LED TV; he's really into watching live sports, and he has a short-distance staircase that takes you to his king-size bed.

Of course, he also has a library section with a variety of his collection of books, DVDs, and action figures. Then there's his dining area which connects to his kitchen. In the past, he'd invite me to watch soccer or NBA games, we'd call it Game Night, which also includes playing on his X-box that is currently well-kept under the TV.

Right now, I don't see the Blake Garette that annoys me a lot. I'm seeing a very different guy at the moment.

I take off my jacket and shoes and place them where they're supposed to be kept. I put our now take-out coffees and my bag of cookies on top of the kitchen counter. Slowly, I approach Blake, he has both his arms covering his face.

With so much caution, I sat beside him and started planting small kisses on his muscled stomach. He peeks through his arms to see what I was doing. He takes a deep sigh. I can feel him smiling behind his arms.

I tried starting a conversation, "Hey, you know what? I never realized how muscular you are."

"Hmm?" he didn't understand.

"Yeah, I had quite the experience rubbing your arm and chest earlier. Why didn't I notice it before?" I try to play dumb but seductive. He giggled, "You're such an idiot, Maddy."

"What?" I continued planting kisses on his chest, and now I'm face to face with his arms. "Hey," I slightly bite a part of his arm. "I think, you've buffed since we met. So does that mean, I made you buff? Or did you work out more?"

Now I'm trying to lift up his mood with the best move I know. And it worked.

In a split second, he sat up and grabbed my waist, making me scream in surprise. Finally, he's laughing. He tried tickling me and I stood up, hoping to escape from him. Of course, I failed.

We were running around and he ended up tackling me on his bed. We were out of breath from all the chasing and laughing. While catching our breath, we stared at each other's eyes and his face became serious.

He crashed his lips to mine and I followed suit. Roughly, he took my shirt off and skimmed my body with his big hands. I attempted to take off his shirt but failed and so he stood up, took off all of his clothing, and leaned in to take off my pants.

And just like that, I fixed him again. Or did I? Was I fixing him with our method or am I setting up a bigger mess for the both of us?

I'm not sure. Right now, I just want him to feel better. I want him to forget—about the pain, about Bianca, and about being ruined. He needs me. He needs this, and I'm willing to give it to him, just as he is willing to please me whenever I want to.

That's our role in each other's lives. We're both broken and we're somehow a temporary adhesive that keeps us sane and human.

Two hours later, we were laying in bed, still trying to catch our breath from the heavy bed workout. I was laying on my front, while Blake was laying on his back, his arm covering his face once again. I took his free arm and rested my face on the nape of his neck. Automatically, he wrapped his free arm around me and squeezed me a little.

"You're so weird, Maddy," he giggled, the sexy sound resonated all over his very muscular body.

I smiled and responded, "Look who's talking," he laughed once more.

Now, I'm going to attempt to open up a can of worms.

"I'm not telling you to start talking about what's happening with you right now, but if the sex didn't work, I must be losing my touch," I told him, so thankful that I hid my face on the nape of his neck, it's less awkward without the eye contact.

"Oh, the sex worked! Don't worry about that," he joked.

"You are such a perv!" I shouted, slapping his stomach, making him laugh even more. He grabbed my arm, stopping me to hit him once more.

When our laughter subsided, Blake's face straightened and he started talking.

"Coming home to that barbeque party was a wrong move, I think." I was right. I knew it.

"You know, I slept in the guest bedroom, not in my own bed," he revealed.

"really? Is it because of her?" I dared to ask.

"Yeah, it's not that I miss her. It's more of how it disgusts me. I shared this bed with her. Did she share it with him as well while I was away?" he expressed, his voice becoming more of a whisper. I understand him. I thought about it too when I realized Tony was cheating on me as well.

I hugged him. "Then when I saw her today, I felt so small. It's been over a year, and it's the first time I saw her since, you know," I nod, gesturing him to continue, "then, it made me realize that I'm still really broken."

He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand. 

I took his hand off his face and I made him look at me, "You're not broken, okay?"

"You're getting there. You're healing. You just need to realize you're not the one who made a fool out of yourself. She did!" I raised my voice, trying to make a point.

"Heck, I've never met such a sweet guy. She made the biggest mistake of her life!"

Out of nowhere, he got up and flipped us over. Now, he's the one hovering over me. His eyes looking into mine as if he's searching for something. "Would you date me?" His question caught me off guard, "Huh?" That's all I could mutter.

"See! I knew it! You're all talk, Waters." He went back to his side, his arm covering his face again.

Blake can really be so stubborn. I don't know why I have to explain myself to him but I want to. I want him to know that he's a good guy and that he's pretty much date-worthy. 

I lift myself up, pull the covers above my chest, my elbows supporting my weight and I face him. "You are freaking amazing, Blaze. Honestly, I'd date you. You are so perfect, okay? Sometimes, I wished I met you first before I started dating those assholes," I took a deep breath, looking for the strength to carry on. 

"If I wasn't as broken as I am now, If this," I point to my chest where my heart is, "was working properly and I'd be happy to date you. Do you understand? Any girl would be lucky to date you, idiot. Bianca is such a bitch! She didn't deserve you. Sometimes, I wish I deserve you, jerk!  So stop being so sad about it, cause I'm more broken than you are."

I let out a very deep sigh. He was just staring at me, probably surprised by my outburst. I mean, even I'm surprised by what I've done. I turn my back on him and laid back to bed. 

My sudden speech made me tired. Blake is still frozen beside me. I pulled the cover higher and closed my eyes. Moments later, I felt his arm around my body, he snuggled his face on my nape. 

He blew small kisses on my neck, making me shiver, "You're not broken," he whispered, "You just malfunction every now and then." He laughed. He is such an ass. 

I silently giggled and elbowed his stomach, making him wince but it didn't stop him from laughing. He hugged me from behind, and he sighed. "don't ever go AWOL on me again, Maddy," he whispered. 

"I'll think about it," I softly replied. He only chuckled and he tightened his hug. He must've fallen asleep because he didn't say anything back. I was too much of a coward to face him. I closed my eyes and scolded myself internally, "what are you freaking doing, Madison?"

I think I'm in deep trouble. Did I just confess the feelings I don't want to welcome?