Chapter 2

EVERYTHING seems busy. The students are having their own world. Walang pakialam sa ibang tao sa kanilang paligid. But not until Seraphina Fernandez stepped towards the entrance of San Albereda University. Everyone looked at her that makes her bow her head.

Hindi talaga siya masanay-sanay sa kakaibang tungo sa kaniya ng mga estudyante sa kung saan siya nag-aaral. Dinaig pa niya ang may sakit, well, she actually have. She have this disorder called dysphemia, on which whenever she tried to speak she always stutter. Not because she's nervous, well, part of.

She immediately change directions when she saw a bunch of students walking in her direction. Hanggang't maaari ay ayaw niyang makasalamuha ang mga iyon. Because for sure, they will make fun of her just like before.

Seraphina walked faster until she reached the library. Doon lamang siya nakahinga ng maluwag. The library is not the main library at all, kaya kaunti lamang ang mga estudyanteng naroon or masyado lang talaga siyang maaga kaya kaunti palang ang mga estudyante. She fixed her glasses and gently placed the books she's holding on the table. She's inside the CAS library extension.

"Thank God, dito na muna siguro ako magpapalipas ng oras. Mamaya pa naman ang second subject ko," tanging nasabi niya na lamang sa kaniyang isip.

Umupo siya ng maayos, ang kaniyang mahabang bestida ay lumalaylay na sa sahig.

She was busy reading a book of arts when she heard a commotion on the exit of the library. Kumpulan roon ang mga estudyante lalo na ang mga babae. Napailing na lamang siya. Probably, they are talking about some random guy who's so popular in San Albereda University.

"Shit, nakita ko si Nazel tsaka si Samel. Ang gwapo talaga nila..."

"That's right, sayang lang, wala si Azel, balita ko ay busy siya sa pagrereview."

"Huwag na kayong magtaka pa, law student si Azel e. Hay, alam mo iyon? Gwapo na nga, matalino pa."

Seraphina heard about it, she shooked her head in disbelief.

"Akitin ko kaya si Azel? Magpapabuntis ako..."

She felt so scandalous on what she heard. It was so vulgar, hindi siya sanay sa ganoon. Lumaki siya sa isang konserbatibong pamilya. Kaya ganoon na lamang ang kaniyang naramdaman ng marinig ang walang pasintabing mga salita na iyon. At isa pa, isang Roman Catholic University ang pinapasukan nila ngunit kung makapagsalita ang mga babaeng iyon ay para bang sa simpleng university sila nag-aaral. Oo nga't hindi ibig sabihin na nasa sa isang relihiyosong pamantasan sila ay kailangan ng maging relihiyoso rin pero kailangan pa rin nilang maging maingat sa mga salitang ginagamit nila.

Tumikhim siya at nagconcentrate siya sa pagbabasa. It was just a simple gesture without a meaning. Iyon nga lang ay iba ang pagkakarating sa ibag naroon. She was already busy reafibg when she was disturbed when someone tapped the table loudly where she is reading. Sa gulat niya ay bigla niyang nabitawan ang librong bibasa. Her gaze went up to see who it is.

She saw the girls talking with each other earlier but now they are in front of her. She was alarmed, hindi niya alam ang gagawin. Seeing them here in front of her, she felt so nervous. What if they hurt her? What if they humiliated her, again? What if they do more than that?

Hindi niya alam ang gagawin sa nangyayari. Namumuo na rin ang takot at kaba sa kaniyang dibdib. Hindi na naman bago ang ganito sa kaniya ngunit gaoon pa rin ang kaniyang nararamdaman. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay na nanginginig na nilalaro ang mga daliri. She really don't know what to do. Gusto niyang tumakbo o kaya naman ay mawala na lamang na parang bula.

"Look at me, bitch..."

She didn't move, so the girl grabbed her jaw and made her looked at them. She saw the girl's eyes, she looks mad. Mas lalo siyang nanginig sa nakikitang galit at irita sa mga mukha nito. Hindi man siya tumingin sa paligid, alam naman niyang nakatingin ang mga estudyanteng naroon.

"You purposely do it, right? Clearing your throat to let us stop in talking?"

Mabilis siyang umiling sa sinabi nito. She didn't do it purposely, it was her way to distract herself from listening to them. Kahit noon pa man ay ayaw niyang nakikialam sa ibang tao. Marami siyang kinatatakutan na bagay at isa na itong nangyayari sa kaniya. Ang hindi niya lang talaga maintindihan ay kung bakit lagi siyang hinahabol ng mga kinakatakutan niyang mga bagay.

Nakaramdam siya ng sakit sa kaniyang pisngi ng dumiin ang pagkakahawak nito sa kaniyang panga. Ang kaniyang paghinga ay unti-unting bumibigat. Hindi na siya makahinga ng maayos dulot ng kaba at takot. Isama pa ang kaniyang pagpapanik.

"Yes, you are. Tandaan mo ito, don't messed up with me. Dahil hindi lang ito ang aabutin mo sa akin sa susunod. Understood?"

Tumango siya habang nangingilid ang kaniyang mga luha. Bumaba ang tingin niya ng pakawalan siya nito. They even slapped her before walking out from her. Halos mabingi pa siya sa lakas ng sampal ng babae sa kaniya. For sure her face reddened. Bakit rin siguro ang palad nito sa kaniyang pisngi.

Nag-uunahan na tumulo ang kaniyang mga luha habang inaayos niya ang kaniyang salamin at mga gamit. She felt so humiliated and embarrassed on what happened to her. Her eyes roamed, she bit his lips as she saw how some people looked at her with pity on their eyes. Some of them even looked at her like she's an entertaining show. Na para bang isa siyang nakakatawang palabas. Habang iba ay may pagka disgusto ang tingin sa kaniya.

Umahon ang hiya sa kaniyang dibdib. She felt so pathetic looking at them. Hindi naman na siyang umaasa na may tutukong sa kaniya. Noon pa man ay wala na talagang tumutulong sa kaniya. They treat them like she have some contagious disease that they need to avoid her so that they can save themselves.

"Tsk, attention seeker."

"Hindi naman dapat iyan nandito, hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit pa siya tinanggap."

"Hayaan niyo na ang pipeng iyan, kulang kasi talaga sa pansin."

Seraphina can't take it anymore so she run away. Every time that they will say something negative about her, every words will lingered on her mind. At parang sirang plaka iyon na paulit-ulit na naririnig mula sa kaniyang isip. Mahigpit ang hawak niya sa mga libro habang tumatakbo. Hindi niya alam kung saan siya mapapadpad. She just let her feet go anywhere. Takbo lamang siya ng takbo habang patuloy na lumuluha.

Until she found herself in front of her parent's graves. Nakalabas na pala siya ng San Albereda University ng hindi niya nalalaman. She actually ditch her classes. Ngunit wala roon ang atensyon niya. She's hurt at the moment. Sa ngayon ay wala siyang pakialam sa mangyayari sa class records niya. She wants to go far away from those people because if not, she might went insane.

Nakakabaliw pala talaga mag-isip kung anong kasalanan niya sa mga taong iyon.

She caressed her parent's graves as she let the tears come out from her eyes. She felt so alone, she misses her parents. If she just could turn back time, she will do that immediately. Ibabalik niya ang mga oras kung saan kasama pa niya ang mga magulang niya. But she's in the reality. She can't do that. She has no power to turn back time.

When she was a kid, she wished to grown up fast. So that she can do whatever she wants. Ang sabi kasi sa kaniya ng mga magulang niya noon na kapag malaki na siya pwede na niyang gawin ang mga gusto niyang gawin. But now, she was already eighteen but she still can't do what she wants. Para pa rin siyang bata na limitado ang pwedeng gawin.

Hindi naman niya ginusto ang mga nangyayari sa kaniya. She doesn't want to feel those things, she just only want a normal life. Pero pilit na pinagkakait iyon ng mundo sa kaniya. She felt, she doesn't belong in any society that the world's have. She was so alone in the middle of somewhere she can't name. She was so lost. Walang tahanan na mauuwian.

"M-Ma, P-Pa, h-hindi ko n-na p-po kaya."

Mas lalong bumuhos ang kaniyang mga luha. Umiyak siya na parang nawawalang bata sa puntod ng kaniyang mga magulang. She can't continue this life anymore but she has a promise on her parents. Kailangan niyang ipagpatuloy ang buhay niya dahil iyon ang pinangako niya sa kaniyang mga magulang bago ito mamatay.

They want her to continue her life and pursue her only dream. To be the most famous painter in this world.

But how can she continue if her life is like this?

ALMOST all of the students in San Albereda University are looking at him. Adoring his every move. Fancying his everything. Watching him like a he's the most entertaining show they have ever watched. But instead of feeling grateful, he felt irritated. He doesn't want to be watched by almost everyone. That's ridiculous. Pakiramdam niya ay kinukulong siya ng bawat mga matang nakatingin sa kaniya. And he fucking doesn't want that. It's so suffocating.

He glared at the girls whose looking at him without shames. Umiwas ang mga ito ng tingin sa kaniya. Those girls is so fucking irritating. Kanina pa kasi mga ito na humahagikhik habang nakatitig sa kaniya.

Sinalpak na lamang niya ang earpads sa magkabilang tainga niya at pinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa. But instead of focusing, he felt so disturbed. Sa sobrang talas kasi ng kaniyang pakiramdam, nabibilang niya ang mga taong nakatingin sa kaniya. And they are too many to mention. So he stood up and walk out of the Law library. Hindi pa man siya nakakalabas ng tuluyan ay nakita niya ang mga babaeng nagkukumpulan sa isang tabi. They were looking at him with admiration in their eyes. He clenched his jaw in annoyance. Ayaw na ayaw niya talaga ang ganitong klaseng atensyon. Lalo pa't galing iyon sa mga babae. Even before, he doesn't like girls. He really doesn't like them.

Bumaba siya ng ground floor at naglakad paalis ng building. Wala na siyang klase na susunod pa. He just have morning classes for this day. Kaya naman ay iniisip niya na kung saan siya pupunta. He doesn't want to go home yet.

Sa kaniyang paglalakad ay nakakita siya ng babaeng nakatungo habang naglalakad. Para pa itong takot na takot habang naglalakad sa gitna ng mga tao.

His forehead creased, he saw some students looking at the girl, mukhang natatawa pa ang mga ito sa babae. He shrugged his shoulder of and went to the parking lot. Sumakay siya sa kaniyang kotse at pinaandar iyon paalis ng San Albereda University.

Binagtas niya ang buong Mendiola, ni hindi niya alam kung saan siya pupunta. Basta na lamang siya nagmaneho sa kung saan siya dalhin ng mga gulong ng kaniyang kotse. Habang nagmamaneho ay may tumawag sa kaniyang phone. Mabuti na lamang at naka-ear pads siya.

"What do you need?" Walang gana niyang sabi sa tumawag.

"Woah, it's not what you think, brother. Nazarel is asking where the fuck are you?"

He rolled his eyes in a manly way while still driving his Mercedes Benz. "Somewhere in the city," he doesn't know where he is.

"Oh, Nazarel said fuck you for deleting his edited films." He smirked at what Samael said.

Naalala na naman niya ang kaniyang ginawa sa isa pa niyang kakambal. He asked Nazarel for a help on his thesis but his brother didn't even gave him a glance. His twin brother Nazarel is busy editing his films. Project raw kasi ito ni Nazarel sa isang subject niya. So in return, noong hiniram niya ang laptop nito ay binura niya ang gawa nito. It's was just a payback.

"Damn you, Azazel. I will shoot you on your fucking head," mahina siyang napangisi rito. Walang epekto sa kaniya ang napakalamig nitong boses.

"I'll do it first on you, Nazarel. Anyway, start editing your films, your time is ticking."

He heard Nazarel groan in frustration. He even heard Nazarel cursing him to death. That's not new tho. Normal na sa kanilang tatlo ang magmurahan na parang wala ng bukas. Tch. He was maneuvering the steering wheel when he remembered something.

"Samael,"

"Yes, brother?"

"Fuck you, amoy zonrox ang penthouse ko kagabi."

Gabi na siya nakauwi kagabi dahil busy siya sa kakareview para sa bar exams niya. He was so tired from reviewing, halos papikit na rin ang mga mata niya. And when he get home, he thought that he can rest immediately. But to his surprised, he saw how chaotic his penthouse is. Nagkalat ang mga damit na hindi niya alam kung saan galing. Mayroon pang mga sirang undergarments ng babae roon. Then he went to his room, mas lalong nalukot ang kaniyang mukha. His room is so messier. Wala na sa ayos ang mga gamit niya. The bed was disorganized. Pero hindi lang iyon ang mas kinaiinisan niya, amoy zonrox ang buong penthouse niya. Damn the after sex smell.

Tumawa si Samael sa kaniyang tinuran. "Sorry, brother, mas malapit penthouse mo kaysa sa penthouse ko."

Uminit ang kaniyang ulo sa sinabi nito. Like what the fuck? Is he kidding him? Malapit lang ang penthouse nito sa penthouse niya. It was just a floor apart. Hindi na ba ito makapaghintay na makarating sa langit? Kaya pati penthouse niya ay ginamit nito sa pambabae. Kung maaari nga lang ay baka nasakal na niya ito ngayon.

"Damn you, ikaw una kong babarilin bukas." He clenched his jaw. "Fuck, I even throw your used condoms, gago ka ba? Hindi ka marunong magtapon ng mga pinag-gamitan mo?"

"Ulol, parehas ko kayong barilin ni Nazarel bukas e- fuck!" Then he heard a loud sound. Mukhang nag-aaway na ang mga ito. Pinatay niya na lamang ang tawag at hinayaan ang kaniyang mga kakambal na magpatayan. Makakabawi rin siya kay Samael. He was still pissed on Samael.

He stopped in a club, pinark niya muna ang kaniyang kotse sa parking lot bago pumasok sa club. Nadaanan niya lang talaga ang club nito. He don't usually go to a club or bars. But there's no wrong in trying tho. Agad siyang hinarang ng mga bouncer ng subukan niyang pumasok.

"Don't worry, I'm in the right age." Nagkatinginan muna ang dalawang bouncer bago siya hiningian ng identification card. Security, huh.

After checking him, they let him enter the club. He placed his both hands inside his pockets. He was wearing black pants and polo with a necktie. Niluwagan niya ang kaniyang neck tie at naghanap ng mauupuan. The club looks fine. It looks clean and legal. Medyo marami ring tao dahil pagabi na rin naman.

He sat in a stall in front of the bar counter. He immediately ordered a whiskey. Iginala niya ang kaniyang paningin sa paligid. Almost all of the girls are looking at him. Desire and lust are in their eyes. He shook his head and smirked. Pathetic sluts. 

"Even if you gave me that kind of look, I won't fall on your trap."

Girls are just all the same for him. They are all just the same species who wants to be fucked by anyone. He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes. Pinakiramdam na lamang niya ang kaniyang paligid habang pinapakinggan ang malakas na tugtog ng musika. The place is so loud. May mga nagsasayaw na tao sa kaniyang bandang likuran. Naiirita pa nga siya dahil nadadanggil na siya. He wants shout on those people but he doesn't want to make a scene. Mabuti na nga lang at tumigil rin ang mga iyon. Fuck this people. 

"Hey, handsome boy, wanna go somewhere?" He felt someone whispering in his left ear. It was a woman, he smelled the sweetness of the woman's perfume, and it irritates him more.

The way the woman talks is so sensual and sexy, any normal guy will like it. He even felt the woman caressing his hard abdomen, to his hard chest and goes down, trying to reach his manhood but before the woman do what she wants on her, he immediately grabbed her hand. Kung normal na lalaki siguro ay magugustuhan ito at hahayaan ang sarili na malunod sa makamundong pagnanasa. But he's not a normal guy. Hindi siya basta-bastang lalaki na maaakit ng kung sinong babae lang. Si Samael lang iyon. Pero siya si Azazel, malakas ang pagtitimpi niya sa ganitong sitwasyon.

"If I were you, you will leave me alone." He said while his eyes are still closed.

"Why? Don't you want to have fun tonight?" Kumunot ang kaniyang noo at tinignan ito ng masama. Mukha namang natakot ito sa kaniya pero hindi pa rin ito umaalis sa kaniyang tabi. Para bang nilunok nito ang takot.

"Oh come on hottie, I know you want this too."

The woman started kissing his neck. Pero wala iyong epekto sa kaniya. Sa halip ay mas lalo lamang niya iyon kina-inis. To his annoyance, he grabbed the woman's elbow and pushed her onto the floor. Malakas ba lumagapak ang babae sa sahig, napapaigik ito habang tumitingin sa kaniya.

"How dare you!"

"I told you to leave me alone because I can hit a girl if I want to. And I just did it to you." Malamig niyang saad dito bago muling pumikit.

"Gago!" Hindi na lamang niya ito pinansin.

"That's why I hate girls," galit niyang turan at ininom ang hawak na baso ng alak habang nakapikit pa rin.

All he wants for tonight is to get wasted. He felt so stressed all of a sudden.

Ilang oras na siya roon sa club na iyon at pakiramdam niya ay lasing na siya kaya naman ay napagdesisyunan niya na umalis na roon. He's so drunk to the point that he can't even walked properly.

Why did he even want to be wasted? Oh, he wanted to forget the past. He was trying to run away from his sins. He just only wants to have a normal and peaceful life. But the world is against what he wants. Because every time he tried to run away the past is chasing him.

He smirked at what he thought. Fuck them all. Fuck all the people.

He no longer had on his right mind while crossing the road to go on his car that was parked near the club. Someone interrupted him even before he could get close. He burst out laughing like a lunatic.

"Oh, someone wants to fight me, come here, asshole. Fucking fight me."

He tightened his fists even while he was intoxicated. If his past will not allow him to live in peace. He doesn't have much of an option but to fight back. For him to never lose.

He's doing everything he can to live a normal life, but chaos is always chasing him down. Well, he guesses, he lived to break the damn rules.