I already feel out of place. I shouldn't even be here but somehow I let Avery drag me to the bonfire. Thank God it wasn't at the creek or anywhere close, though it was near the forest, so I can't really complain.
Being in the company of Avery, I've already gotten the sense that she's intent on making the most of her senior year. At first, in the years passed, you'd never really see her involve herself with parties and things like that, but last year, I saw a bit of change in her.
Now that I'm her roommate, I am afraid she'll try drag me along with her everywhere, when it was my intention to not do so.
The bonfire was set in a clearing , surrounded by trees. To me, it simply gave off that House of Wax vibes, but that's my opinion. While most people huddled around the fire, there was still different groups scattered around, creating a more wider circle.
Cars were parked on top of a small hill while the party was happening at the bottom. From the moment I arrived here, I've tried to ignore the few questioning glances I received from people I've walked passed, not wanting to be sucked back into the memory of that night.
I knew that some were curious about me arriving here without Danny, not that we ever displayed much about our relationship, but still, arriving without the other raised questions.
Avery has us stopping in our tracks when she receives a call.
" Hello." I decide to block out her conversation, mindlessly looking around at our surroundings.
I quickly turn away from a couple close by, making out like crazy. If they had their way, they'd be doing far more than make out, by the way they are eating each other's faces off.
Why don't they just get a room, seriously.
" I can't believe he's back." A girl says to her friend, as they walk past us.
I wonder who they are talking about. No, it's none of my business.
" Yeah, I heard that he might show up tonight." The friend responds.
Before I can ponder much on the girls conversation, someone tugs at my arm, earning my attention. "My friends have found a spot, come on." She says, already taking the lead.
Avery simply looked good tonight with a high waisted jean skirt and cute top, ending the look with complimentary make up, that didn't take away from the outfit. She was slightly shorter then me by an inch, right on the tanned side, had brown hair with blonde highlights with a pixie haircut. Her eyes were forest green and her greatest feature was her dimples, that popped out when she smiled.
Call me weird but she is cute.
I had settled for my own matched maroon set of a high waisted skirt and top, black stockings and anklet boots. I left my hair how I came and put little make up on.
One thing I was sure of tonight, was that I wouldn't be staying for long.
"Hey Avery, I'm feeling up for a drink, I'll come find you." I tell her, changing direction when I see Danny standing with a couple of his friends, them in between.
" Oh, please get me a soda too!' She calls after me.
'Wasn't planning on getting anything else.' I want to say, but I carry on my way.
A tap on my shoulder whilst distracted with drinks, has me jerking around that I almost drop one.
" Sorry." Ingrid says sheepishly.
" G. hi." She opens and closes her mouth, the words written on her face.
" Sorry, force of habit." Now I feel really awkward. " Ingrid, what are you doing here?"
"Well I wanted to see for myself whether you heard the rumours or not." She tucks her curly black hair behind her ear, shifting awkwardly on her heel.
I guess this is awkward for her too.
Ingrid Mathews, tall, slender, pretty with gorgeous big light brown eyes. We used to be close, right after Roman left me. Ingrid saw an opportunity for us to hang out and start a new friendship. Ingrid approached me with so much confidence, knowing full well that Roman wouldn't stand in her way, because Roman stood in the way of anyone who tried to get close to me.
" I don't listen to rumours, you know that." I say, walking away with the cans of soda.
" Well this might interest you." I stop in my tracks, my back to her. "In fact, it does concern you." She comes over to stand in front of me.
" If this has anything to do- ."
"No it's not that, though I'd like us to talk about that night."
"Well I don't, now I need to go." I start to walk off but she blocks my path, making me sigh.
" You don't know do you?" Ingrid's brows pull together, her eyes search my own for something but I have no idea what.
"Can you just tell me already." I say impatiently.
" Well- ," she's interrupted by someone calling her.
We turn to face Nicky, Ingrid's friend, a partner in crime, who stands just a few feet from us, giving us curious looks.
" I've been looking for you, we have that ' thing', to get to." I notice how she glances my way, when mentioning ' thing.'
" Oh um yeah, that. I'll be right there." Ingrid says.
Instead of walking off, Nicky remains where she is standing, making it obvious that she's listening in, on our conversation.
" You should have known by now, half of the school is buzzing about it."
The conversation is cut short yet again when a loud noise, like no other blocks out everything , including the music, earning everyone's attention.
My eyes glance up to the hill, where the rest of the cars are parked. That's when it appears, a big, black beautiful car, parking right in the middle like it was meant to be there.
I shouldn't have been looking or even glanced that way, but I couldn't help it. Not when it's who, exits the car.
Four people our age, strut down the hill like they have no care in the world, three guys and one girl. Even after their music had been switched off, everyone here can't look away, not that I can either.
It might be dark but I would still be able to recognise the one in the middle, the more good looking one out of all of them.
" I guess the rumours were true after all." Ingrid says next to me.
I can't respond, words are stuck in my mouth as my eyes focus on one person and one person alone. The guy in the middle.
The new arrivals stand at a distance, conversing like they haven't just arrived, except one.
His eyes look around until they land on me and my heart stops.
I should look away. I should look away. I tell myself.
But I can't, it's impossible when he starts advancing towards me.
Oh no, no.....
The cans of soda drop from my hand, knocking me out of my trance, giving me reason to look away. I blink twice before crouching down to pick up the drinks.
Unfortunately for me, one can has rolled away out of reach. A hand wraps around that one, picking it up, just as I rise to my feet, my eyes trail up the figure.
Dark combat boots, dark jeans, leather jacket, white shirt and dark long hair tied back, oh gosh with the eyes that belonged to such a good looking face.
My eyes make the mistake of connecting to his own, the hazel capturing me at first glance. Something about these eyes seem familiar, they hold me in place, threatening to open a missing blocked piece of memory in mind, I've discovered.
" Here." A deep voice with a hint of huskiness says and I realize he's just spoken.
I blush so hard, realizing that I was just shamelessly staring.
He hands me the can and reaching for it, my body tenses when our hands touch and a tingly sensation remains on that spot. I glance up at him to see if he'd felt the same, only for something entirely different, to happen.
I'm rendered speechless for a few seconds, as pieces form together about who this is. It hits me hard, that I stagger back in surprise.
My eyes move all over him in quick motion and yes, without a doubt it's him.
Roman Joel O'Connor.
My ex best friend.
Memories flash at me like some slideshow, I'm taken back to that place of hurt, the stinging coming back.
He left me all alone but now he's here.
He opens his mouth to speak but I don't give him a chance to do so, when I walk past him to dash off.
" Hazel. " I stop in my tracks and close my eyes for a second.
It had been so long since I heard him call my name, I don't know how to feel about that.
I won't fall. I won't fall.
I walk away.
This time, it's me who's doing so and he'll see me doing it.
I must be dreaming, seriously.He can't be back, he can't.'But he is.' My consciousness tells me.I close my eyes as I lean my back against the tree, trying to wrap my head around what just happened back there. I knew that I shouldn't have come, I had a troubling feeling all along and even though, I didn't think something like tonight would happen, I knew something would.Roman Joel O'Connor.He's back.Things would have been much easier if it weren't for what happened years ago, when the first and only boy I've ever really trusted, broke my heart. He left with no trace, but kept memories behind.He should have left a long time ago, when there was the first hit. They made it public and it surely wasn't pretty.I believed he wouldn't leave me and that I had nothing to worry about, guess I was wrong, he found a reason to leave , to
We've been sitting in silence, Sam and I. After he chased after me, he led me back to the hostel, but we remained outside, within the premises.Sam Desai, the only person who was there for me after that night, who never did any wrong and recently, I've discovered, is my cousin. Sam and I had grown up around each other , neither one of us knowing much about our relation, he was always there. He was present during my birthdays or family gatherings and at first, I took it as him being my mom's Godson, never thinking much to it. Now that I've learnt that he's my cousin, gives me a sense of relief.Atleast I have someone close with me here." Tonight must have been hard on you." I turn my head in his direction, my gaze forcing him to look at me." Seeing everyone and being reminded of what happened."" I thought I would forget and put it behind me." I say, looking ahead." How could you, you al
"It doesn't matter to me." I speak up, turning around to face him after Ingrid basically ditches me." Ah and she speaks." His lips twitch into a grin. "It's good to have you back, thought I'd lost you there for a second."He says, taking a step towards me."Don't you dare come any closer, stay away." I warn with my hand up, stepping back and making him stop.He sighs. "How long will you keep running?"Until you leave me the heck alone."You just couldn't stay away could you?" I say."And how could I?" He steps closer." After that night...." He trails off.My eyes search his own for any kind of knowledge, and with the emotion flickering in them, I know it's true.He was there.How was he there?" Were you there that night?" I softly ask, feeling desperate to know." Sw
Two days have passed with neither Roman and I running into each other, more like I've been trying to avoid him, staying out of his way.Hard work indeed.After finding out about his girlfriend, I was given more reason to stay away, for us to not run into each other.It didn't feel right for me, to be following after Roman even if it's to check on him. I have no right to interfere in his life, to even bother him, though he's done just that.What would his girlfriend think if some strange girl followed after her boyfriend?......No. Avoiding him is the best option.And speaking of relationships, my own is still on the unclear, Danny and I haven't spoken much after his encounter with Roman, so talking to him was out of the question for now.So I spent most of my time in the school library, having the peace I so craved for, the first time I arrived here. Deep down I knew that I
I shouldn't be feeling like this, experiencing the feeling of regret because I've received what I wanted. I should sigh out in relief that he's not bothering me right?Today, he literally left me alone and didn't even glance my way the whole time, our paths would cross. He's kept his way and I should do the same, not over think things and not allow my mind, to be in deep thought about him.His friend's words had hurt to be honest, for someone to paint a picture of me as vindictive and someone who loves attention, not to mention selfish and all types of wrong. He made everyone sound like they are the victims and I'm the bad one here. His words should not matter to me yet they invade my thoughts every now and then.But he was right about Danny, I've been keeping him at arms length, even after so much time has passed. He's been trying to reach out to me, from some time now and honestly, what he did was really a mistake,
" I can't believe you brought me here." I say, looking around the bowling alley, whilst Sam and I wear our bowling shoes." Yeah and I can't believe you invited your boyfriend here." He says." He won't join us till later, besides, it's my way of proving that I really meant what I said. To go back to how things were between us.""You don't need to prove anything to anyone." He argues."Well this is also for me, a step to moving past something and trying to get back what I've placed on pause." I say, rising to my feet."Maybe you could also apply that on someone else."I break eye contact, not feeling up to talking about Roman. All I want to do is have a nice night, a relaxed evening and to laugh, to laugh with no reason."Let's play, shall we?" I say, walking on to start playing."Hey, hey." His hand on my elbow stops me. " I'm sorry, I sh
Two weeks had passed since that night. Roman hadn't tried talking to me or doing something stupid as scare me half to death, like when he snuck up on me. I would have been more relieved if it weren't for the burning urge to know where his head is at.I knew that he'd keep true to his word, that there would be a next time, I just didn't know when.I hated that form of surprise.Stolen glances my way had lessened, that being to the fact that he was preoccupied with his girlfriend, who I was yet to know her name. She was always around him, confirming what I'd already learnt.They actually looked good together, she was pretty with auburn long hair, brown eyes, light skin with freckles on her nose. She is the definition of gorgeous. The best part about her being that she never went over the top with whatever she had on, she could simply pull off jeans and a simple shirt.Roman and h
In years passed, I'd been separated from quite a number of people. One of them being my aunt Karen.Aunt Karen had more then a special place in our family, because of a big sacrifice she'd done for my parents. She's my mother's adoptive sister, the two shared a special bond, it surely played a role in the decision she had taken. It was a life changing decision that our family is still grateful for, she was my parent's surrogate.My mother had always struggled to have a baby and they had tried so many times, only resulting in disappointment and pain. My aunt Karen offered with such a sincere heart to carry the baby for her and now here I am.Through such an experience, a journey unique in our family, Aunt Karen and I were super close, but that never took away from the bond my mom and I had.Her passing had hit us all very hard, but never enough to hold us prisoner to grief, my dad being an example. He opene