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CHAPTER 107
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A vow of hate CHAPTER 108
It was getting closer to December. The temperature had dropped considerably lower and it was officially jacket, coat and gloves season. Snow peppered the roads and buildings in a beautiful white coat. I sat in the driver seat of my car and reflected as I drove. The day at the office had gone by pretty fast, I had a ton of meetings, and the whole time, my mind was clouded with thoughts of my beautiful wife. If someone had told me at the beginning of the year that I would become this obsessed with her, I would have most definitely laughed in their face, yet here I was, completely smitten by her. I couldn’t wait to get into the warmth of our home and linger over a warm, hearty supper with my daughter and wife, watch a movie and crawl into bed with my wife, with full intentions of not sleeping.A small smile stayed on my face the whole way home. I parked in the driveway, not even bothering to go into the garage. I felt the snow crunch under my shoes as I walked into the foyer and shook of
A vow of hate CHAPTER 109
HAZELAfter I walked out of the doctor’s office, I took a cab to Chistian’s office instead of heading back home. I was still feeling a little dizzy, but if I was being honest with myself, I’d started feeling dizzy the moment the doctor had started talking. One time I’d been prescribed antibiotics for my sore throat when I was twenty-years-old, and I’d ended up at the emergency room. As it turned out, I was allergic to penicillin. Giving my blood was a whole other…experience. To say I didn’t like needles, doctors or hospitals of any kind would be an understatement. Because of all that, I could do nothing but feel dizzy, thinking the worst. As to why I was standing in front of the Walker building near Kerry Park, I didn’t have a straight answer for that. I walked through security, got in the elevator with six other people, and got off on Christian’s floor. I walked up to the red-haired, blue-eyed receptionist, the same one I’d seen at The Lark and the one time I’d been there.“Hi. I wan
A vow of hate CHAPTER 110
I felt my eyes blur a little. “Can you get me a tissue, please?” I asked, keeping my chin up and away from his gaze. He let go of me and got up to leave. “Wait, I have some in my—” He walked out of his office before I could tell him I had some more in my bag. I stood up. He came back with a pretty box of Kleenex and held it out for me. I pulled one out and, sniffling, held it under my nose. “Are you okay?” he asked again, looking straight into my eyes. I nodded and tilted my head back a little more to stop the flow a bit. Sometimes that helped. Now that I’d learned what it could be, the feeling of that warm trickle was freaking me out more than it had only hours earlier. Christian massaged his temple, walked a few steps away, and then came back to stand in front of me. “Okay. Okay, tell me what the doctor said. I’m assuming it’s not allergies from the look on your face.” “Nope. Turns out it’s probably not allergies or a cold. He wants to run some tests, wants to get a CT scan and
A vow of hate CHAPTER 111
His forehead creased. “What do you mean you didn’t schedule them?”“A CT scan, I can do, Christian. I googled it and it’s only a minute, plus only my head would go in. The MRI, which is what he said they needed to see if there is a hole and where it is—that one I can’t do.”He looked at me in confusion. “What are you talking about?”“I’m not okay with closed spaces.”“You’re claustrophobic? You never panic in an elevator.”“Elevators are fine, as long as I don’t get stuck in them. Plus, I can move. I don’t have to stay still. I talked to a nurse when I exited the doctor’s office and apparently the type of scan he wants takes over fifteen minutes, and I can’t move at all during it—as in I’m not allowed to move or twitch any part of my body. If I do, they’ll have to start all over again.” I could feel my eyes burning with tears. I felt so stupid. “Thinking about it is already giving me anxiety, and she said they will need to close a cage on my head “because apparently it needs to be sta
A vow of hate CHAPTER 112
I nodded and took a deep, deep breath, having gotten a better handle on my emotions thanks to his brand of tough love. “I’m not good with doctors,” I told him, repeating my earlier confession. “I’m not good with stuff like this, especially since I had to see my mom in that place for s-so long.” My voice broke and I hated it. “I’m not good with these things.”“I really couldn’t tell.” His beautiful and gentle smile was the last straw for me, and the tears just started to roll down my face.He must’ve misunderstood my tears, because he rushed to explain. “You have to stop crying. I can’t take it. We’ll deal with it together, if it comes to it, but we’re not going to worry about it before we know what it is exactly. It doesn’t make sense to do so. Agreed?”“Now you smile at me?” I blurted out, ignoring his support. His face was already blurring as my eyes started to fill with tears, but I managed to hit him on his chest once, lightly. “Now?” I didn’t even realize my voice was rising, but
A vow of hate CHAPTER 113
CHRISTIAN“Five million. Just as you wanted.”I dumped the black duffel bag of money at Mark’s foot, watching as it fell to the floor with a thud, causing dust to rise and stir around his feet before it settled. He let out a loud whistle as he crouched down and opened the bag, taking out a wad of cash and inhaling it before he stood up. I scrunched up my face, visibly irritated.“See, it's always nice doing business with you. Maybe in a more ideal situation, we could even be friends. We could be as tight as brothers,” Mark said, slapping me across the arm in a too personal and familiar manner.I landed my steely gaze on his face, making sure I was staring straight at him. “I’m not your friend. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go meet my wife." I turned away from him, dusting off imaginary dust from where his hand had been, only to stop in my tracks at the sound of his voice.“How is she doing anyway?”I turned so fast that I almost got whiplash. There was something almost sincere i
A vow of hate CHAPTER 114
Her eyes met mine and I gestured to the cup with my head. She dropped her head forward and the first few drops started coming. A few seconds later, her left hand curled around my wrist. At first I thought maybe she was trying to line up the cup right under her nose, but when I looked closely, she had her eyes tightly closed and was biting her lip. I cursed myself for not being better in a situation like this. My family hadn’t been any better than hers. Not as bad, but still not better. I had a family, but not really. My father messed up our family dynamics a long time ago, so it looked like we’re a tight knit circle, but we really weren’t. I didn’t know exactly how to be there for someone emotionally because I hadn’t seen anything like it in my family. And this situation wasn’t exactly the same as being there for my daughter. This felt much like trying to find my way in the dark. But it was Hazel. I didn’t mind if I crashed into everything as I tried to find my way, the only thing tha
A vow of hate CHAPTER 115
The next day we were sitting at the ENT’s office again as he gave us more information about Hazel’s sickness. He said everything the other doctor had said to Hazel before, and whenever I cast a quick glance her way where she was sitting next to me, her eyes were glazed over. I didn’t know how much of it she actually heard. Her hands were grasping the arms of the chair in a white-knuckled grip, so I didn’t think my touch would be welcome. Instead, I asked every single question that came to my mind about her upcoming unavoidable surgery.“After we see the results of your MRI and the CT scan, we’ll schedule your surgery.” Hazel cleared her throat and interrupted the doctor. “I’m sorry for interrupting you, but I’m claustrophobic—is there any way we can avoid the MRI scans if we already know from the samples that this is a CSF leak and I’m gonna have surgery anyway?” “I’m afraid not, Mrs. Walker. Since you didn’t have a head trauma or any other injuries that could cause a CSF l
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