At my desk, uncomfortable as always, I tried to maneuver and find a way for my pencil skirt not to cling to every part of my body so I could respire properly. I was fine standing up, but I felt as if someone had a tight rope across my stomach the moment I sat down. I decided to look around to make sure no one was watching, so I could undo my button at the back and breathe without feeling as if I was suffocating. I sighed as my zipper naturally opened as I sat up a bit, and my stomach hung over my skirt.
I closed my eyes, wondering why I kept punishing myself like this. I hadn’t put on a little weight, but a lot of weight, and the refusal to buy new clothes wasn’t an option anymore. This was the only skirt I could fit in this morning; as for the shirt, luckily it didn’t have buttons and stretched over my breasts. As for the matching suit-jacket, it couldn’t close. I didn’t need to close it anyway; I could walk around the office with it open, unlike my winter jacket, which I would wear for only a few moments outside before jumping in a taxi.
I didn’t see Gold’s secretary walking to my desk; I was too busy thinking about whether to go to a store. Any store nearby to find something to fit. Anything. Today was going to be a long day, and it would be even longer if I didn’t get something I could breathe in because come lunchtime, I wouldn’t be able to eat.
“Adrianna, he wants to see you in his office,” she purred as her long pink fingernail stroked along the surface of my desk. She got to the end and lifted her finger as if to check for dust, and I rolled my eyes. Her very presence annoyed me, and her petty actions just wound me up even more.
I was about to get fired. It was a known trait in my office when the big boss called you not by putting an appointment in your calendar or even sending an email. When he sent his little Chihuahua (our nickname for his secretary) to come and get you, it wasn’t good news. Her blonde hair was in a perfect bun, and her square-clear glasses, which she didn’t need (a rumor which I wasn’t sure if it was true because I’d seen her wear them in the office, but never outside.) hung on her square-nose a little too far. Her blue eyes lit up as she stood with her arms crossed, ready for me to follow her. I felt like a lamb being led to be slaughtered.
Hank Gold resided on the top floor; he was old money, his father had passed on the business before him. He made it known he was money, so important, he resided on the twenty-foot building’s top floor. No one could go up there apart from him and his Chihuahua, who smiled at me with her sea-blue eyes. The reason why, after one year of working here, we’d given her this name was because Mr. Gold treated her as if she was more precious than anyone else who worked in this office, and she loved to flaunt it. She enjoyed being followed up to the top floor; it was as if she got a kick out of having the power to see us go.
Well, she didn’t have the authority to do it, but she made us feel small as if she had us at the palm of her hand.
“Mr. Gold doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” she commanded as she faced me and put her finger once again on my desk. I hated everything about Mr. Gold, from the way he sat in his high tower to how he commanded his little pet to come and fetch us. Mr. Gold was a married man, and everyone knew he was fucking her; she didn’t even try to hide it. We knew if Mrs. Gold found out, it would cost him a lot more than this tower.
I counted to three as I tried to squeeze my legs together and pulled down my pencil length skirt, then I zipped it up to the top. It was impossible, to button it up again, because it was too tight. I stood up straight as I held on to the little pride I had left. She looked at me strangely, as if we were friends and I’d done something out of the ordinary.
The only thing I did was smile at her, showing all my teeth, which wasn’t a good idea because I needed to go to the dentist to get my teeth whitened, the hairstylist to get rid of my split ends, and more importantly, the optician to get new contacts. The last one would have to wait; I knew if I got new contacts, everyone would know the green eyes I claimed to be natural were actually contacts.
I pulled my jacket from behind my chair, but no more quick movements in case my skirt split at the seams. Thank goodness I was wearing a blouse and not a shirt today; otherwise, it would be soaking wet from overheating because it would be clutched to my skin, and my buttons would be popping right now. I didn’t feel well. Not one little bit.
Jen, my bestie and only work friend, smiled at me. The kind of smile told me she was rooting for me. But we both knew this moment was coming from last week. The week I spent all night working on the presentation for not one client but two and ended up completely fucking it up. One year of complete loyalty and doing more than my call of duty should have made a difference, but it didn’t. I received an email from him saying he would call me when he was ready, and from the look in the Chihuahua’s eye, I could tell he was more than ready.
I walked past my desk empty-handed, knowing I would need nothing but my pride as I headed towards the elevator. I could hear the whispers. The lack of subtlety in the office was unreal, as others pretended to need to go somewhere, anywhere to tell another what was going on. I was not too fond of the uncertainty and wished I had never signed up for this job. The ad said Marketing Executive when it should have said Slave to The Gold God. I’d done more than marketing since I joined, and when I compared it to a couple of my friends in the same field, they’d said it wasn’t a Management role I was doing, but more of an Executive role on a Management salary. I didn’t complain. No, I didn’t even raise my voice at the idea of it because I knew once I had a couple of years’ experience here, I could go wherever I wanted, and they would say, “You put up with Gold, you need a medal.” The staff turnover here was too high, and Gold didn’t care, all he wanted was results, and he got them.
Carrie, his secretary, had worked here the longest, five years out of all of us, and we all knew the reason for it was her extra activities upstairs.
I took a deep breath as I considered my fate as the elevator doors opened. It was a now or never type moment, and part of me wished it’d be never, but it wasn’t an option I had control of, not at the moment.
Carrie walked in with her five-inch heels and pressed the button to go upstairs, and she was about to put her card in when she snapped, “You coming in or not?”
I nodded as all the nerves started to take over my body.
“Is he there alone?”
She shook her head. “No. HR is waiting in my room. He wants to speak to you alone before letting them speak to you.”
She gave me a strange look as if she was thinking the same thing I did. Usually, everything would be done simultaneously, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the case this time, and it gave me something I didn’t think was possible: hope. I didn’t have a chance of staying here, but I had exactly eleven months left to get the dreams I had envisaged from the moment I started here, and I wasn’t willing to give up on those.
Not yet.
It put a smile on my face; I could see Carrie saw it and spun her head around as if to check my reflection was real. Somehow, it put a frown on hers, and I realized she was a bitch through and through. The type who only thought of their own happiness and no one else’s. I didn’t have a bone in my body to ever hate someone; it wasn’t in me. I wouldn’t say I liked Carrie. She reminded me not every woman had the same sense of responsibility in the workplace. We wanted to unite, but women like her didn’t care as long as they got what they wanted.
The doors swung open, and she strode out slowly into the glass hallway. I’d only been up here once, and even then, no one gave me a tour. Mr. Gold congratulated me for doing a top job with a couple of clients. The account should have only been fifty thousand, and somehow, I’d managed to get them to spend nearly a quarter of a million. I was talented, I knew, but I didn’t realize how much until I sealed the deal with the account. I celebrated not only bringing in the additional clients, but the ten grand bonus that came with it.
I smiled, the cool air circulating around my body as I moved behind her. She was in control of her movement, whereas I always felt like my steps would break the glass floor one day. Crazy, I know, but I wasn’t used to walking on glass, unlike Carrie who strutted with her stilettoes as if she owned the place as if she had the power to make the glass break if she wanted to.
I lightly lifted my feet as I walked, which was pretty hard to do when the damn skirt was so tight. Every movement I made, made me feel uncomfortable as I spent more time trying to keep up with her and less on where we were going. The doors slid open, and I knew meant one thing, we’d arrived at his office.
“Ms. Smith is here.”
“Good, send her in.”
Technically, I was already in because as the doors slid open I had followed Carrie into the office.
Once again she smiled, nodding. He wasn’t sitting at his desk, but on the white sofa at the back of his office.
Maybe it wasn’t all bad news; maybe there was some hope.
Fuck!My knuckles cracked against his face. I’d told myself the only boxing I would do these days would be against a punching bag. I would change my ways and stop fucking hurting people. Six months ago, I’d had a widow turn up at my door with her child, claiming I’d killed her husband. I told her I didn’t do it, but what I didn’t tell her was I had ordered the hit on him. She was better off without him. The man had a woman in nearly every state and most likely more children, but it wasn’t my business to dig into her love life. No, I wasn’t any marriage counselor, for sure. But I did make a promise after seeing her son’s blue eyes swell with tears as his mom said, “This is the man who killed your father.”I promised to stop being the monster I’d been for so long, and try and value the life in front of me, unless I really had to put it to an end. Just like a leopard couldn’t change its spots, I knew that I was kidding myself by making such a promise.I knew even if he was a shit husba
“Adrianna, sit. Carrie, you can go,” Mr. Gold demanded as he stood. He didn’t try to stall what was about to happen next. I looked around his ice-cold office, thinking maybe HR would pop up from somewhere, anywhere. But they didn’t. For now, we were alone as the sliding doors closed. Carrie left with a big smile on her face; no doubt she would reward him for getting rid of me. “Adrianna, I’m not going to beat around the bush. You know why you’re here?” he said as he slowly moved towards me, pointing at the sofa as if to tell me to sit. He didn’t come next to me straight away, but pressed a button and then out of the wall, a bar magically appeared. Had he watched some video on minimalism? Then decided the only way to have an office as cold as possible, was to make everything was in it appear from nowhere. Hidden, so no one could know what was truly in the office. I started to wonder if the sofa was hidden, and he pressed a button to make it appear. My mind wandered as I looked around
I shuffled through my bag, which had been neatly waiting on a trolley and walked out of the elevator when it opened a moment later. I couldn’t believe my purse was there; someone could have taken it. Then again, there were cameras everywhere in this damn place. I sighed as I grabbed it, thinking I’d call Jen and tell her to meet me for lunch. No phone.Shit, of course!It was the company phone. I had gotten rid of my personal line trying to cut back on bills. It felt silly having a private phone when I could use work’s. Now, not only had I lost a cell, but all my numbers. Jen told me to back up my numbers from the time I cut my line, but I didn’t listen and the only number I knew by heart was hers.My pass wasn’t working as I got to the security gate to leave the building in my car, I considered embarrassing myself and telling security I’d been fired. I needed to get out of the building. Mr. Precious Gold had thought of everything else; why didn’t he let my pass work so I could leave
I couldn’t go there directly, and not with so much fucking emotion running through my head. I couldn’t appear frail, not in this fucking business. I had to make a pit stop at home. It was the other side of town, but I didn’t give a fuck, they could wait. A quick shower and a change of clothes would set me straight. Right now, I was so fucking emotional. I still had Mario’s tears and cries running through my ears as if he was in the car with me. He’d stopped the moment I told him what his mom had done, when anger took over him. I couldn’t regret what I’d done; no, I couldn’t cave. My phone rang so I turned it off. I didn’t even feel like listening to the radio. What I needed was a shot of whiskey, the smoke of a cigar, and a shower and a change; then I’d be back to normal.“What the fuck!”I screamed out as the lights turned red and I did an unnatural stop. Someone was testing my patience today. My car jumped the lane as the car behind me bashed into me, and I swung the door open to s
Another dead end!Fuck, this day was supposed to be a good one, giving up some positive leads. If I didn’t find my dad’s killer and take revenge, I was a dead man. Fuck, I could hear them already. He couldn’t even find his dad’s killer. He’s done. We should take him out. Either way, I would be taken out. Damned if I did; damned if I didn’t find the killer.I disturbed Jose as I wiped the blood off my hand and heard the whimpers from Pete’s throat. He was one of the lookouts on the North side. He worked for whoever was paying the better price. He was one of those types who had no real loyalty and was only interested in green. No one would miss him, so I knew I could get information out of him, and if I didn’t, then I could dump him, and his spot would be replaced in a heartbeat by the Lopez family. They preferred hiring their own, so realistically I was doing them a favor. Pete wasn’t as sharp as he used to be. The man should have been out of the business a long time ago. He was hit
I sighed as I played around with my food. Friday had come and gone and still no Ricardo. It was as if I was missing him, which seemed weird because I didn't know him. Even though he was the reason I was here. The brief time we'd spent together, he'd turned me on and scared me at the same time, so maybe this was why I was so intrigued by him. No one had ever had this effect on me. Never in my life, but then again, I'd never met a mobster up close and personal until now. "You should go explore the grounds. I don't know why you stay inside like an injured dog," Lourdes said, the only one person who did speak to me in the house as I sat down for breakfast. She had a way of making me feel good and bad at the same time. She reminded me of my Aunt Brenda, my dad's sister-in-law. We used to see her all the time as kids, but as soon as Dad left, her appearance in my life did, too. They even dressed alike, flamboyant, as if they were always going to a party. Lourdes had a cute blond bob and I'
Finally, I made it home. I told Lourdes what time I would arrive, and she told me dinner was ready and waiting for me in the dining room as Juan parked the car. As he came to a stop in the driveway, I remembered I had company. The whole flight the only thing on my mind was Vedova. Why was she playing on my mind when I had Adrianna waiting for me? I hated the way Vedova had treated me, like a little boy on the playground who needed direction from her to know how to play. No, I didn't need direction from anyone, especially the likes of her. "Jefe, you want me to stick around?""No, go home. Get some rest."He smiled. “Sure thing."That kind of surprised me, Juan seemed a little disappointed when I told him we were leaving, yet he was quite happy once we did arrive back. As I opened the car door he asked, "Jefe, como estas?" I didn't answer him as I sat up and stepped out of the car. I needed to have a shot of something and go to bed; no more did I feel the need to eat. We didn’t use t
I was tired, wet and cold. I didn't know what the time was, or even the day. With what little strength I had in me, I ripped my dress, so the part below my knee was covering my bare shoulders as I laid on the stone ground. The only light in this cave, was when Ricardo was here; as soon as he’d left, I'd had all of five seconds to take in my surroundings to know everywhere was brick, including the floor. It was cold and damp, and there was a bucket at the side of the wall. One I assumed was for me to urinate or even shit in. I wanted to so badly, so the next time Ricardo came in here, I would throw it at him. How dare he?I crashed into his fucking car, and he treats me like this!He might as well have killed me, it would have been better than this, anything would have been. I was dying to pee, so I crawled because I couldn't walk. Nearly every part of my body was hurting me. I had been drinking so much wine out of nerves before he arrived, that I had been slightly light-headed when h