Chapter One-Two-Three: Shall We...?

"I wanted to kill you."

Matteo says while looking right at me.

When I pull away from his embrace, his gaze drops to my neck as if he wants to strangle me, too.

"I wanted so badly to, and I thought about it every single day while you were away, yet none of my fantasies ended with me killing you. Even in my dreams, I would fuck you till you lost every ounce of strength in your body, so I thought, wouldn’t it be fun if I did both, yet…when I saw you, everything came back to me. That I still...loved you. I still…fucking love you."

Matteo’s gloved hand reaches for my neck as if mesmerised. I don't stop him as he tries to squeeze my flesh, even as I feel my windpipe constrict, but before any dizziness can claim me, he stops.

"My heart gets loud when I look at you; it hurts so much when I try to hurt you; even the scar on your shoulder gives me nightmares. I can't even imagine a world without you, but you can. This is all so easy for you."

A tear rolls from my eyes at his words. I have been