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CHAPTER NINE
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MerryGold CHAPTER TEN
"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp
MerryGold CHAPTER ELEVEN
With so many temptations, I did not indulge. With so many offers and approval from the innocent catholic girl that my sister had assumed she was, I still refused to give in or go farther. For a moment, I thought maybe just maybe I was overthinking everything.All I needed to do was apologize to Merrigold for my behavior suppose try to base a new happy friendship which would be extremely difficult because I by far did not see her as a friend. She was below me, she could never be a friend. Infact I had just enough friends.I wondered how William had done it...I would not let him know, afraid he would laugh at me in the face for being so pathetic and insanely of unsound mind.I needed to be home, I needed to be there... where she was. I felt annoyed with the mindless chatter going on. I excused myself, letting them know; I felt sick... sick of their faces. Well, no I actually said a fever because my sister did not take any sort of bullying even from me.It was the first time I had
MerryGold CHAPTER TWELVE
A tad bit distracted with work, she peaked her head in through the door.She did not mutter a word but I was aware of her presence, aware of her fine and dandy whiff. Merrigold, admittedly made me excited. She was different than any other negro I had ever encountered.She did not bow her head when I walked by or treat me with the respect I needed. I found that attractive, I found it attractive how stubborn she was and how I had to teach her to submit to me, she would eventually. I had gone off far the rails with the way I had started everything. If I was a tad bit nicer to her we'd see how that would work out."Sir, you have mail...from lady Harriet, her butler dropped it by." She said, for many reasons she refused to call me Master and I had noticed she preferred sir. That certainly wouldn't have a good ring to it when we finally indulged in this foolery of lust between us. The tension was clear and building up. I could see it in the way I caught her eyes searching for mine whe
MerryGold CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I found myself feeling anxious. I had to feel anxious, panicked... I had rightfully made demands as if I had what he was looking for as if I was a virgin. A part of me did not want to regret that night with Thomas, I did not want to be that shallow. Thomas and I had been happy, I had even started to forget about my sinful thoughts and need for that devil.I felt sick to my stomach, I felt disgusted with myself.Not only had I agreed and made my demands but I had let him kiss me in the most intimate manner.I swallowed a huge lump of guilt.What was I doing when had my life become so complicated? Ever more I had just done something unforgivable and so unlike me. Opening the envelope, I made sure everyone had left before I sneaked into his office and took Lady Harriet's letter. Surprisingly he had left it in the trash can, just as he had instructed me to.Why did I yearn to know what they did or what they—If I said a smirk had not graced my lips when Austin admitted to being bored
MerryGold CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Dear Austin/Master Austin(However you would like me to address you)You summoned me to put in writing how many lashes I deserve? Deserve? I deserve none. I refuse for you to bully me into oblivion. I have cried enough, I've been upset enough, I've taken enough insults and felt the guilt that I should. I have come to realize that I have done absolutely nothing wrong, you came into my life and demanded my virginity, it was never something I promised you. You somehow make it seem as if I was promised to you from the day I was born, I fail to understand what has angered you so much to treat me the way that you have.If the tables had turned, it would not matter. If the tables had turned like how you sleep with Lady Harriet then expect me to be pure, that is hypocritical of you. I expect nothing of you, you're nothing to me. You have done nothing but make me feel shameless for something that should not even matter.My answer is I do not deserve any lashes. I will not take any and I refuse
MerryGold CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
He was cutting wood more often. Hunting more often. Fishing more often. I watched from afar, I was afraid. Having left that letter, I felt an odd ounce of regret. Not regret but fear as to how he would react. I was upset when I wrote that, I was quivering with anger... I was overwhelmed enough to say the bold words I let out. I could not take it back anymore. I could not, after a few minutes of contemplating my place in this house. I feared being alone with him. Faith had been right... 'Atleast they get to leave at the end of the day but I'm stuck here with him...' out of instinct, I decided it was best I visit Thomas for the night. I'd sleep over.. he always made me feel safe but at times, I wondered if he could ever protect me from Austin's wickedness. I had to leave before he got back from his therapeutic hobbies that helped him from going off one's rocker.—Thomas shifted over, off me. Sweaty and exhausted but he seemed satisfied. His bed was rather small for such activities. He
MerryGold CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was nearly midnight. After pushing me, dragging me and forcing me to walk, he gave up and put me over his shoulder. Unashamedly touching me in places he shouldn't. It was dark, crickets were creaking, everyone seemed to be asleep. Who would stay up late after a hard days work at a plantation? When all you could think of was getting a little bit of rest but a whip followed right behind you... when your knees felt weak and threatened to fall without warning. The blisters on your hands that hurt so much water became your worst enemy. Lucky? I was very lucky because all I had to deal with was this monster and nothing else right? The walk from the plantation to the house was a ten minutes or less walk. It was quite the big plantation. My tears would not stop streaming, the thought that he had nearly killed me and as of now he wanted me to be in his bed. I shrieked and tried to wiggle out of his arms but he had a good grip on me. This went on until I felt dizzy and nauseous. I begged him
MerryGold CHAPTER FOURTEEN
If I had any self respect for myself, I'd have said no. I would not be standing outside his door not sure where to put my arms or how to stand to look appealing. If I had any respect for Thomas as a lover I would not be here, even early... he said 8:15pm but here I was five minutes past six. I felt anxious, I was sweating bullets even after having taken a bath. For some stupid reason, I wore the dress his sister had passed on to me. It was a nice ballroom gown... not that it mattered it would soon come off. My logic in this sense was if I was already pregnant then I wouldn't get pregnant again. My logic remained this was to get some benefits for my loved one's. If my body was what he wanted in exchange then so be it. It was not exactly a lie that many slave women who lived better than others did certain deeds for their masters. I had never once in my life thought it would be me. The underlying reason that I'd never mention out loud is how curious I was. Petrified with him finding out.
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