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Chapter 11
It’s Wednesday. I was supposed to go to The Bar on Monday, but I chickened out. I’ve stayed in my little bubble, not talking to anyone. I even told Sally to take Monday and Tuesday off from walking Benny. I guess I needed time to sort through therapy. At least the tools are working with my nightmares. That’s progress.
I’ve gone over the list Eva gave me, and I think I’m keen on Cognitive therapy. Still, I also like integrative therapy as well, where they integrate different elements of different treatments and blend them to suit the patient's needs. That has to be better than just working on mindfulness. Hmm, mindful…. when I haven’t been reading up about the therapies, I’ve been thinking of Lucas Craven. I left a message with his office to call me; unfortunately, it looks like he decided not to pursue me any further. I can’t blame him. I was a bit erratic.
Now I need to stop hiding and get my arse to The Bar. I ch
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Lillian Blackwood Chapter 12
“What’s wrong with you?”I look up at Andy; I must look like shit if she’s asking. Andy keeps to herself for the most part, but since hooking up with her new beau’s, she’s been more open, which is something I would be proud of her for, but right now, I wish everyone would just leave me the fuck alone. Andy shoves me with her shoulder, playfully waiting for my answer.“I’m fine.”“Hmm, yes, I’ve been there. The ‘I’m fine’, period.”I roll my eyes, “I just didn’t have enough sleep last night. That’s all.”“Ah huh. Well, whatever’s bothering you, fix it. It’s not going to do us any good if you forget the lyrics during our gig tonight.” She pushes off the bar and grabs her sticks, twirling them through her fingers while chatting with Justin.As much as it pisses me off, she’s right. Lyrics aren’t t
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 13
Fuck me sideways!Did last night even happen?A date. I am going out on a dinner date with Lucas fucking Craven!I slap my forehead, “I should cancel.” I murmur to myself.Last night talking to Abbey over the phone, she had convinced me to go ahead with this date. If I hadn’t called her, I would have cancelled last night. As it is, I might still back out now.Except I only have his office number. God, all I can imagine is what his PA would say to him “Sorry, Mr Craven, your date has been cancelled, and she asked you not to bother her again.” Jesus, that would be another level of humiliation even by my standards.Sitting on the edge of the bed, I ask myself, “What the hell are you doing?”“I knew you would be paralysed with fear.” Abbey grins at her own joke, resting against the door frame of my bedroom.“I should never have given you a spare key,” I tell her as s
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 14
JJ parks the car up near an old fashioned iron door at the back of an old, bricked building. I look around, there’s a couple of cars parked, but otherwise, no one is around. “Where are we?” I ask. Where the hell has, he taken me? Luke grins and takes my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze, “Relax. We’re at one of my restaurants. JJ has taken us to the back for your privacy.” My heart swells, “I don’t know what to say.” I love that he is respecting my boundaries without knowing the actual reason. “Thank you?” he suggests with a cheeky wink. The mischievousness disappears from his eyes when he says, “Stay here.” JJ opens his door for him to exit. JJ closes the door behind him; they walk around the car, and Luke opens my door, holding his hand out for me. He ducks down and looks me in the eye, “Do you trust me?” I smirk, “You steal movie lines often?” He chuckles, “Only the best ones.” I take his hand and exit the car. The bac
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 15
A cold, wet nose nudges my face, “Eww,” I swat Benny away and roll over sleepily, looking up at him and his big brown puppy eyes. “A hungry wake-up call, hey?” I yawn. He has an area that he uses for his business on the balcony. Benny wags his tail and lets out a soft woof. I roll onto my back and sigh. I was having such a wonderful dream for once too. Benny barks again.“Alright, alright, I’m getting up.” I glance at the time. “Well damn.” It’s nearly 9 am! I haven’t had a sleep-in in a long while.Benny flounces around me while we head to the kitchen to get his breakfast ready.Now, I could catch up on some work, go to the house I’m flipping, or I smile; I could go back to sleep and pick up where I left off in that dream.I shake my head; I can’t do that. I always feel like shit if I haven’t done anything productive.“What do you think of a little picnic?&rd
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 16
Strange that Dax called. Usually, he just shows up unannounced. I decided to start on dinner and cook for two. Dax will likely stick around for dinner and I know just what to make boscaiola pasta and garlic bread. Just as I’ve finished the salad, Dax walks in. “Hey, why the phone call? Everything alright?” I ask “Yeah, I just didn’t want to interrupt anything, just in case there was something to interrupt,” he says pensively. I look at my friend bewildered, “What could you possibly interrupt?” Dax is acting stranger than usual, and that’s saying a lot about him. “Don’t be obtuse, Lillian. Luke was here.” He takes a seat on the barstool and stares at me. I don’t think Dax has ever called me by my full name before. “Okay. Well, there is certainly nothing like that going on.” I shake my head. Is he jealous? “What’s going on?” “I didn’t want to bust in on you, that’s all”, he grins. “Is that my favourite pasta dish?”
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 17
I made it through dinner and dessert without being grilled about Luke. Which for my family is really something. “Dinner was delicious as usual, Esther” Joe rubs his stomach appreciatively, Mum blushes. I laugh, “Little birdie told me that you had moved in.” Joe winks and leans forward, “Your Mum and I aren’t young like you and Luke. We both know what we want and don’t feel the need to keep taking things slow any more than we already have.” He grins broadly and gazes at my Mum, “When you know. You know.” “I love that.”, when you know, you know. I smile; I’m going to call Luke. “I know that look.” Joe chuckles, “Go call him.” “Who’s for karaoke?” Stace cries, everyone murmurs in agreement and before I have a chance to find my phone in amongst all the phones in Mum’s ‘No Phone Rule’ basket, Stace is dragging me into the great room. Mum has a fantastic karaoke machine; how did I not notice the set-up when I walked in. Luce w
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 18
People are jamming into The Bar tonight. Joe will be excited about the bottom line, and I can’t say I’m mad about it either. It will help with the extra details Abbey wants to add to the house. All of this doesn’t stop me from pacing back and forth in the office. Joe insisted on installing a two-way mirror in our office, and right now, I’m grateful that he dug his heels in. I’ve been waiting and watching for Luke to show for the last three hours, and nothing. After Dax left, I called him and left a message. An hour later, I called again, and he sent me straight to voicemail. I was pissed. I called his office. The receptionist was a bitch, so I have no idea if she took my details down or not. An hour ago, I left a final message. I have officially become a stage five clinger and stalker. The only thing that has occupied my mind this afternoon is soundcheck. Now that we’re all in the office except Dax. He’s waiting for Sally at the door.
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 19
I can’t get my keys into the door. I’m so damn nervous. “Are you okay?” I glance up at Luke, “I’m fine.” Finally, the key slides in, and I open my door. Benny isn’t around this evening to take the edge off. Quinn picked him up while he was in the city for a client and took him to Mum’s. Luke closes the door behind him. “Welcome to my home.” I drop my keys in the small bowl on the hall table. Nervously I walk on ahead; just brazen it out, Lillian, just brazen it out. I start showing him around my apartment, finishing the tour with the lounge room. “And that’s it.” I stay a couple of feet away from him. I’m so out of my depth here. “Would you like something to drink?” Luke doesn’t answer right away. His eyes are firmly on something else. I take a small step closer and notice his overnight bag on the floor next to the couch. “Oh um.” Luke grins at me, “Don’t worry about it babe, I’m glad it’s here. Saves JJ the trou
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