EVANGELINE.It's been two weeks since Axel had rejected me, and it weighed on my mind more than it should— more than I thought it would. I sat before the computer while my brain went blank, again. It's been happening these past few days.I zoned out a lot, my mind drifted to the memories of us in that short period, and I felt the bile rise in my throat again. Work had been more hectic, and waking up always seemed like a chore. I didn't know what else to do, or why I let him get to me this bad.I picked up my phone for the umpteenth time today, even though I told myself I wasn't interested in him, that I was over him. Even though I told myself that what we had was just a fling, I found myself looking forward to a message from him— one that wasn't him telling me to quit my job at the Whites.I'd read that particular message over and over. 'DON'T BOTHER COMING TO WORK ANYMORE, AND I'LL WIRE YOUR PAY AND FIND ESTHER A NEW NANNY.'That was all the message read, and he sent it on the night
EVANGELINE.I froze and sat up as my heart pounded in my chest. I didn't remember how I'd gotten involved with Asher. It was terrifying. Asher moved closer, a friendly smile on his face as he sat next to me. Registering my surroundings, I squinted. My sight was still affected by the blinding lights. I was in the hospital. After all, the voice in my head couldn't help but repeat it countless times. "H-how…""Hey, hey, take it easy," Asher pacified as I tried to detach the drip string on my hand. It was so uncomfortable having him see me like this. No one had ever seen me like this, not even my own parents.I ran my hands through my hair in a vain attempt to pat it down. I could feel it tangled and disheveled already. Why did everything suck so much? There was still a bitter lump in my throat, and it taunted me. Help."How do you feel now?" He asked gently. "The doctor would be back with some of the test results…" Asher paused, waiting for his words to sink into my skin as he spoke. My
EVANGELINE.It took me blinking back tears in the cab and a full-blown identity crisis to get to the mansion, and now that I stood in front of it, every strength had slipped through my finger.I didn't know what to say or do— I'd been stripped of everything. The ache in my chest refused to go away, and it tightened. I didn't feel like I could breathe or do anything more. I was crashing. The tears had already begun to free flow. A child in this situation? A fatherless child?What was I thinking!? The voices in my head were going wild with thoughts, even unsolicited ones. How did I let myself go that way? I remember that I missed my morning pills after we broke up. Why the fuck would I do that to myself?My world was crashing down at so much level, and the weight of melancholy dawned on my shoulders. My steps were heavy and stalled as I walked in mindlessly. I was allowed in since I'd worked there. The security must have thought I still do.Despite the acute headache and dizziness that
ASHER.There was a kind of silence that haunted us both, and I couldn't bring myself to look into Evangeline's heart while that much guilt gnawed at my chest. I should have done something to protect her from him.It wasn't like I didn't know that this was going to happen. Axel was never going to be able to maintain anything good, especially not Evangeline. She was way too good, perfect even for him. And now this issue about her being pregnant.It happened so fast, that I didn't know how to process it either. None of what happened would I blame her for, ever. These things happened, and whatever she wanted to do was her decision. I just knew I would stand by her side through it all, and I couldn't care what happened to anyone else.Evangeline didn't deserve any of this. As she rested her head on my chest and cried, I felt my chest tighten and anger build inside of me. There was a foul arousal of negative emotions tipping over in my head, and every one of them was directed to Axel. He ju
AXEL.Pretense could only get me this far. Acting like I was too wasted to see her pain or walk up to her to hold her could only help me this much. In my long years of being alive, I'd never been this shakened. Ever since I ended things with her, there hadn't been a day when she didn't prey on my mind. It was beginning to feel like she was all I could think about, every day, every time. That wasn't bearable, at all. The only way I could pull Evangeline out of my head was by drinking and partying endlessly. I wasn't even sure that helped. My heart skipped a beat when she walked in. I saw her way before she saw me. I saw her face when she walked in and how she placed her hand over her nose in disgust. I held the lady who sat on my lap intact for minutes more, too embarrassed to even show my face to her.I had thought Evangeline was just here to spite me and talk about how abruptly I'd left, but no, it was something totally different. Something I never would have expected in a thousand
EVANGELINE.I sank into the back seat, facing the window as the cab raced through the busy streets. The landscape was blurred, and I couldn't tell if the speed caused it or the tears in my eyes that I tried to blink back.That hold in my chest still remained, and I wiped my eyes with my sleeves at intervals. It was exhausting fighting back tears like this. Tears ran down my face, and I could hear the muffled whimpers of my cries in the dark vehicle. The driver didn't look back or say anything, and I was more than grateful for it.The indecisiveness was beginning to sit with me, haunting me in that little backspace. The sadness sucked all the air from my lungs, and breathing became a chore. I wound down the window and propped my head out, letting the wind slap me in the face. The air smelled like melancholy and lost dreams. It smelled…like me.My heart raced and ached, twisting and writhing in pain while the voices in my head blamed me for letting it happen. No, those voices weren't wr
ASHER.The dinner table had never felt more like a prison as it does today. The only noise to be heard was from the clanking of plates and the distant footsteps of maids who carried trays around for our enjoyment. Aside that, everyone's lips had been sealed shut.Father was directly opposite me in his position at the head of the table while Mom and Axel sat next to each other. Being in the same room as he was infuriated me so much, and the only way I knew how to distract myself was by stuffing food in my mouth. I could barely taste the seasoning, and the mashed potatoes felt like biting into wet foam.The air was thick with tension, and the expectancy for impending doom to dawn on us, just as it had always done. Like robots, we were, munching thoughtlessly. Anything to completely ignore the elephant in the room. I stifled in my seat and coughed slowly when Axel stretched his hand to my side, not for anything but to grab more food.I rolled my eyes and continued eating with so much int
EVANGELINE.Day two of being pregnant, and nothing got better. The decisions didn't get easier to make, and the thought of being rejected didn't hurt less. It was all the same. The pain got renewed by the second. I took a break from work, and it was allowed, although it was surprising.My conclusion was Asher had something to do with it. Harper didn't go to work either, because of me. She wouldn't take her eyes off me and asked "How are you?" every five minutes like she was set on replay. I appreciated it, but it didn't help how much of a burden I was becoming.I was a pile of mess on the couch, wearing a bonnet and a bowl of chocolate ice cream on my lap. I stuffed my face like my life depended on it. My eyes were glued to the Television. I'd been consistently trying to follow the Asian drama that was airing.A teenage girl fell in love with an ancient man— a goblin, and even as far-fetched as that seemed, she had it better than me. At least he seemed to love her back, and she wasn't