Nag umpisa ang klase na blangko ang aking isipan. Hell, I'm on the outer space again.
First day of school, kaunti palang ang ginagawa, normally teachers would just introduce themselves and check the attendance, may iba namang nag iwan nalang ng activities at agad nang umaalis. Others would tackle pero napupunta rin sa kuwentuhan. Daily Life of a student, to act as if they're listening and learning.
Nakakainip man matuto, pero hindi na'ko nagrereklamo, some teachers tackle their own life story, that's one of the reasons I hate school, probably learning too. I don't even know the reason why I'm still here, enrolled. One of the reasons maybe is to still experience what normal people do and to explore life. Minsan ay napapatawa nalang ako sa sarili. Funny how I tried to be like them.
I'm just contented on what I know and have. That's the short term for tamad mag-aral, which is me. Kontento ako sa meron ako, pero hindi sa pagiging ako. Being me is tiresome, I may not get bullied anymore but I know someone out there hates my guts.
The bell rang, Lunch time. Ginalaw ko ang leeg ko, at sabay na inayos ang pagkalugay ng buhok.
"Hi! Sabay na tayo" oh! I forgot katabi ko parin nga naman ang babae, the woman whose eyes is very familiar, that it makes me gasped air, and be suffocated.
I tried to play deaf. Such an ungrateful act, Libitina. Nag isip ako ng paraan para makaiwas sa kanya.
I continue avoiding her, but she was so persisitent, that it makes my gut irritated. Hindi ba niya ramdam na ayaw ko makipag-usap? I'm not even close to her, not a friend or some acquaintance, just classmate.
"Ikaw ha napaka snob mo, friends na tayo ngayon. I'm Charmeine Erelah" I am not sure on what should I do, but in the end i accepted her handshake. Para tumigil na siya. She maybe irritating but her name pefectly compliments herself- charming.
Napakagaling kong umacting. I should be nomitated to some award show and win it all. Ayaw kong makipag plastikan, but to her, I think I should do it.
Her eyes is really uncomfortable, kahit anong pag-iwas ko ay bumabalik balik pa rin.
Mas lumapad ang ngiti niya na nagpasimangot sa'kin.
"Libitina Morana" I said casually, saying my name, should make her stop being close at sticking with me.
"Wow! Ang cool nang name mo" her smile speak it all, she's full of joy and energy.
I smiled a little, I still know how to appreciate thou. "Thanks"
"Pupunta ka sa Cafeteria?"
I shake my head stating a no. I will never go to crowded places, and I never like going to. Crowded places are one of my hated and scariest places to go to, I could see hundreds of deaths in just glimpse.I remember one time when I turn at the age of nine, the maids brought me to the Amusement park, I was happy for a few seconds but looking at everyone's smiling faces and joyful eye froze me like ice. They were dying and being killed, paulit ulit iyon na nagplay sa isip ko. I can feel their pain and agony. Sobra sobra silang nasasaktan at nahihirapan. Their eyes were screaming from death, running ang beheade.
Ilang beses ko nang nakita si kamatayan sa iba't ibang tao. Holding his deadly and sharp scythe, I would pass out if his infront of me. My thought of what ifs; What if people can see death too? Will they accept their death? and obliged to the grim reaper's scythe?
It must scare them and fight to their strangled faith. Mahirap kalabanin ang kamatayan, he's always there waiting for the hourglass sands fall onto its last grain.
I get up and went outside, pilit kong kinakalimutan ang nakaraan na tuloy tuloy ang paghabol sa'kin. Sumunod naman si Charmeine dala ang kanyang bag. This girl! Hindi ba pwedeng maghanap siya ng ibang kaibigan? I am not comfortable na may nakabuntot sakin.
I stop for a moment, pakiramdam ko ay may taimting nagmamasid sa bawat galaw ko. Eyes fixated on me, waiting for the moment I fall. Tsk. How unfortunate for you, I'm careful. I breath out and smirk.
I walked faster until i reach the rooftop.
When i was still on my lower year dito ako madalas tumambay, kumain at magpahinga.The rooftop is my safe haven here in school. Walang ibang estudyante ang gumagawi rito, at kung meron man hindi nagtatagal sapagkat natatakot.Rumors circulate around the school saying that this rooftop is hunted by dark spirits.
I don't know if i'll believe it, but there's an 80% chance that the rumors are true. Ako nga hindi makapaniwala sa sarili, 'yon pa kaya.
I mean, there is a much bigger dimension, where the aliens, unknown living creatures and some supernatural beings live. Malaki ang mundo at hindi pa nasusuyod ang buong bahagi nito. Yan ang paniniwala ko.
I even believe in Parallel Universe. Whoo knows if there is someone who look like me but face a different challenge.Charmeine sat infront of me, ginaya ang way ng pagkakaupo ko, Indian sit. There is no chair nor tables here.
Inilapag niya ang kanyang pink lunch box sa harap ko.
I stared at her for a couple of seconds. Confuse at the same time bothered.
"Hindi mo dinala ang bag mo at baka nagugutom kana" my lips parted. I don't bring lunchbox. Wala ring halos laman ang bag ko. That's just some students’ props. Funny how I would skip class and failed some test on my lower year yet, I managed to pass. Hindi rin naman ako bobo, sadyang tamad lang ako. I hate studying and attending boring classes.
"I'm your only friend kaya wag kang mahiya" mahiya? as if I will. She already claimed that we're friends, this girl really has a huge gut.
It's just, I'm not comfortable around her, something inside me is screaming not to be friends with her. I sighed and started to eat, gutom na rin ako kaya i'll just accept this blessing. I do want to have friends, pero ayaw kong maulit ang dati.
"Mabuti nalang at marami ang pagkain na nadala ko, naparami kasi ang luto ni mama at ..." I waited for her to continue but when i look at her face, pulang pula na iyon. This girl... she looks embarrassed.
Is a tomato face still normal? She needs a doctor appointment. I should book one for her.
"hehe secret lang natin to ah, dapat kay Yael yang kinakain mo, yung kaklase natin na maputi at gwapo kaso hindi ko na nabigay kasi marami palang naghanda ng pagkain para sa kanya, yung galing sa restaurant at mamahalin pa" her voice was coated with sadness.
"Why would you give him food? Namumulubi na ba siya at kayo pa ang maghahanda ng pagkain niya?" my brows furrowed as i eat the rice with adobo. Delicious! I'm salivating.
"hindi naman, gusto ko lang mapansin niya" I don't understand them, if I will like someone, I’ll just like him. That's all.
I just nodded and continued to eat. Bahala sila sa buhay nila.
Charmeine was the girl earlier inside the jeep who proclaimed na sa kanya raw si Yael. I don't even know this Yael guy. He must be so attractive dahilan na maraming babae ang nagpapahanda sa kanya ng pagkain.
"Thank you for the food, it was good." it rhymed! as I finished munching the last portion of meat I look again at her eyes. Dali dali akong uminom ng tubig at tumayo na. I shouldn't have look at its kung hindi ko naman pala kayang isipin ang mangyayari.
Like the same scenario but much worse. Through the passing years, my so-called ability to take a glimpse of people's death evolve or improve. Nang makita ko ang kamatayan ni Astra ay ang mga taong malapit palang ang kamatayan ang nakikita ko- their near death, but now I can see their death even for the next 20 years or more. It's getting much worse and I loathe myself for that. If I could just remove my eyes, maybe this curse will be gone too. Seeing someone in their deathbed torments me.
Charmeine is not done yet, mabagal siyang kumain at minsa'y nabubulunan pa.
My hair was blown by the wind. I am drowning in deep thoughts when Charmeine announced that she's done eating.
Tinulungan ko na rin siyang magligpit.
"You go first, cr lang ako" hindi ko na inantay ang sagot niya at umalis na.
I washed my face with cold water, pilit na inaalis ang nasa isipan. Pinilig pilig ko rin ang ulo ko.
Remember your words Libitina, stick to it! I nodded at my own reflection and went outside.
Papasok na sana ako ng classroom ng dumapo ang aking tingin sa berdeng mata. His eyes is alluring, that once you look at it your already his captive.
I blink and return my gaze.
Weird.
His eyes are familiar. Na para bang nakita ko na iyon dati.
Matang pawang nakasabay ko magmasid sa kalawakan.
That very green eyes, full of hope yet sadness overpower, making it soulless and empty.
Glimpse of Death•Kakaunti nalang ang tao sa room, kanina pa natapos ang klase. May ibang naunang umalis at nagpaiwan para maglinis, katulad ko. Hindi ko hilig ang maglinis, yet I'm still here...guarding Charmeine.I gaze at her smiling face. She's mopping the floor while talking to someone. Hindi maipagkakaila na friendly nga siya. Her personality is bubbly and easy to deal with me. Not like mine. Para akong pinagsaklooban parati ng itim na ulap at may kidlat na naka-paligid. My face ain't the angelic one, mukhang wala palagi sa mood kaya wala rin'g nag aatubili na lumapit, I could kick their asses. My facial expressions show it all, ayaw kong makipagkaibigan sa iba. I have the everyday poker and I don't care look.Sometimes, your friend can be your greatest enemy. Distancing myself to other people is futile, for I am link with Charmeine. Kahit anong pilit ko lumayo, pilit akong hinihila pabalik. I don't consider her as a frie
Glimpse of Death• Lutang parin akong nakatingin sa kawalan. "Tulong!" with that, I budge. Charmeine vigorously scream. I look at her and shriveled. She has a cut in her arms! Tumutulo ang dugo roon. It's not that frightening for me, yet the way she reacts on it looks very painful, yet bearable. Mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya at dumalo. Death wasn't able to reap her head pero nasugatan niya ito. Not that fatal, just enough for me to feel anxious thou. Her arms could be ripped if the criminal have forcefully slit the knife, thank goodness my timing was exact. Death what really are you? Why can I see you? Nakatakas ang drug addict na dapat ay sasaksak sana kay Charmeine. Mabuti nalang at binigyan kami ng first aid kit kaya naman ay nagamot ko ang sugat niya, agaran din siyang dinala sa malapit na hospital. Her uncle looks uneasy for her situation, sinisi rin nito ang sarili. Charmaine look in pain,
Glimpse of Death • I was frozen, my body can't move even an inch. Randam ko ang kaba at takot para sa sarili. Does he know? Nangangapa ako ng sasabihin. If I can see myself right now siguro ay kailangan na'kong salinan ng dugo. My skin is milky white like Snow White's and right now, I'm sure I'm super pale at isang tulak nalang siguro ay mahihimatay na. I gues, I need iron and Vitamin D pero hindi nito matatakpan ang kaba ko ngayon. I'm trembling inside, my blood is spreading like wild fire. I gulped and slowly face him. I manage to look deep in his green mesmerizing eyes, na tila nanunuri sa buo kong pagkatao. I want to be gone right now. His stare is making me feel empty. "W-what?" I stuttered! Masyado bang obvious na kinakabahan ako? If he knew my secret then it will blow my whole existence! Like a bubble popped in mid-air, I'll surely be gone, curse and be back to be thrown again. He walks towar
Glimpse of Death• When I've return to my normal state, I immediately removed my hands in his waist. Mukhang nagulat pa siya sa biglaan kong paggalaw. I turn my gaze elsewhere. Nakakahiya. I'm doom. Dapat hindi ako nagpadala sa agos ng emosyon. It was as if time stopped for a moment just for me to feel home in his arms. Pero ngayon, my cheeks is burning, and I feel uncomfortable with it, lastly I don't want to conceive this feeling anymore. This is the first time I feel shy. Seriously Libitina? You've hugged a stranger? I mean hindi naman talaga stranger si Yael sadyang di lang talaga kami close. He's just my classmate. I run back to our classroom, iniwan ko siya roon, I have no guts to face him. Lastly his stare is uncomfortable. Libitina, you should just forget that scene!! Think of it as a memory near fading. The room was quite kahit walang teacger, baka may naglilista ng noisy.
Glimpse of Death • I woke up in an unfamiliar room. Dahan dahan 'kong kinapa ang paligid. I even check myself to make sure everything's fine. Slowly, I get up and blink my eyes for several times. I was in starstruck. Wow! The bed is on the central part of the room, made with cast-iron and a mixture of brass. A Victorian style! Oh, my goodness! On the right side was a marble topped table, with a traditional crystal lamp. I stood up and was amaze. A soft rug is beneath the bed, the parquet floor makes it more extravagant, feels like I'm walking back in the 80s. The walls is in the shade of burgundy, highlighting different kinds of painting. But only one thing got my attention. The wall infront of the bed was ornamented with an old painting of an angel and demon hugging each other. It looks ancient, but well preserved. No dust can be seen and the frame is made of gold with an intric
Glimpse of Death• We're in the middle of eating our late dinner. Kami lang ang tao at walang kasambahay. Yael boast earlier that he knows how to do all daily chores, unlike me na palaging umaasa sa kasambahay, well good for him. Pwede na siyang mag asawa. The plate is served with beef stake at the center, glazed with sweet and sour sauce. and a salted french fries as a side dish. Hindi ko pa nakakahalati ang pagkain ay tapos na agad si Yael. He drinks his pineapple juice, his adams apple went up and down nakikisabay sa bawat pag inom niya, he licked his lips making it more cherry red. "Stop staring" bumara ang pagkain sa lalamunan ko. Yael immediately offered water. Bwiset talaga! How much more kung tubig ang iniinom ko kanina baka pumasok na'yon sa ilong ko. "I was not staring" depensa ko. "Oh really? Hiyang hiya naman ang labi ko sa kakatitig mo" I rolled my eyes at him and purse my lips.
Glimpse of Death• The cold gushing of winds crashed on my skin. Bawat hampas nito ay mas lumalamig. Past 2 AM when I've decided to roam around the house. Kanina ko pa gustong matulog pero pilit na may bumabagabag sa'king isipan... I just don't know what is it. The mansion is big pero mas malaki pa rin ang amin. The whole house is styled in Victorian. Every step takes you back in that era. Kulang nalang pati suot ko ay magmumukha na'kong eleganteng sinaunang tao. Except, that I'm not that prim and classy. I live my life the way I want it, no dictation from others... Just my own rules and path to take. Nasa likod ako ng bahay, the sweet-scented candle filled my nose, the garden is in full bloom, reflecting the moon's light. Candles encircled the whole garden, siguro araw araw ito pinapalitan...and that takes a lot of time and money! Ang gastos. Yael said that there's no maids pero sino ang nagpapalit ng kandila? And to c
Glimpse of Death• The sun's ray woke me up. Alas dyes nang umaga. Kinusot kusot ko ang mata, I yawned. I'm still sleepy. Tumayo ako at nag inat, I properly arranged the bedroom. Lagot na, nag iingat lang at baka nakamasid lang din naman ang asawa nang Uncle ni Yael, at multuhin ako...and I'm not some thick face woman. Tinatablan din naman ako nang hiya...although I'm used being respected and treated special at home in the Morana's, I was never spoiled. I went to the bathroom and take a cold shower. Sinuot ko ang white summer dress with strawberry designs. It's too cute for me, and too girly for my style but I guess it's not that bad. Alam ko kung pa'no dalhin ang damit, I just don't like wearing this kind. The dress reaches above my knee, revealing my milky white leg. Palagi akong naka high stocking sa school. A bit conservative with style. I found a white ribbon so I tied it around my head. The pair of cream sandals p