I pushed him away.
"Evan, no! You know--!"
I couldn't even finish what I'd meant to say, the words catching in my throat like burning barbs gouging deep. How could he? All while thinking, all while knowing he would never stay with me, all while plotting to find another woman to be the one for him no matter what I did, he was still trying to do this to me?
I lost her, he thought, the desperate hiss in his mind cutting into mine. I've lost her.
You never even wanted me to begin with, I wanted to say back, but that would only expose me in the worst way. I moved aside, gently pushing away his hands from me. My heart ached at the struck expression carved into his face, but this wasn't fair. I couldn't throw myself at him when he had said to my face I wasn't the one for him. Even if he wished I was his mate, even if he wished he could stop searching... this was the choice he had made
"Evan. We're still frie
He must have taken my suggestion seriously. By the time I washed up and went down for breakfast fifteen minutes later, Evan was gone. The housekeeper said he had disappeared in a hurry, driving off with Peelle without an explanation to the staff. But I knew. He must have gone off to Dark Moon territory again.Was there a point, though? It was not only possible but likely that if someone there had been intimately involved in the betrayal of his family, they were already dead. He had slaughtered everyone related to Alpha Kris after all... I shook my head, driving the grisly thoughts away. That was in the past now. I would never forget what Evan had done, but there was no way to bring anyone back from death. It was over. Evan might find that the path was a dead end.But maybe he could find clues another way. I texted Peelle, staging the suggestion like an uncertain question. Didn't we stop by the city garden that day you escorted me? I asked. I can't remember clearly anym
Raf had been surprised to hear me say out of nowhere that I wanted to move out, but she never resented me once for not disclosing it to her first. She was too worried about finding a good place for me to move to worry about why I wouldn't tell her right away about my plans, and I was more grateful than ever for such an amazing best friend. From that day, she made it her mission to hunt down the perfect place, sifting through countless real estate options for the one that would be right for me.If only I had been exposed to this kind of thing before, I might have been able to handle looking for a place of my own armed with at least a little experience, but looking through the listings overwhelmed me. And those were just the ones that Raf sent, not the real estate market sites themselves. How much more swamped would I have been without her?With my budget, I could have only afforded a small place anyway, but Raf assured me that most university students either dormed or r
Leon and Rafael picked me up in his truck. I had only one duffel bag of my clothes and my backpack, just the essentials. I could have never lived with myself if I had taken any of the luxuries and creature comforts that had been given to me during my stay here. Not once had I ever forgotten all of it was a kindness, and that at any time, I could have been tossed back into Dark Moon to live out my days in captivity and servitude.That life was far behind me now, but I would never truly be comfortable in all these affluent trappings because of it. Leaving them all behind was a comfort more than a sadness, but I was thankful for all the generosity everyone had shown me since my first day.It was just time to strike out on my own. It had been time for a while now.What awaited me back at the tiny house that was now mine was amazing food, cake, and various housewarming gifts. How Raf and Leon had managed to get all of this together in less than three hours, I didn't
He was going to break my heart. He was going to break my heart, and I was going to let him.All of this, everything I had done to try to heal the wound he'd left in my chest when he quietly rejected me for the sake of finding his future mate, the house hunting, the tears, the heavy anchor wrapped around my heart... It would be for nothing if I let him do this.Even so, I had no strength to deny him. I cared about Evan. I cared about him so much -- I probably even loved him, even though we had only known each other for no more than a few months. And I couldn't find it in me to tell him no.He carried me toward the house, still kissing me feverishly but picking up the pace. The drive to the manor, he had only barely restrained himself, but now it was too late for that. He left the car parked haphazardly in the driveway instead of leaving in the garage, and at this late hour, no one stopped us as he carried me through the doors and took me upstairs.The jour
Evan had given something of himself to me last night, something he could never take back. He had yet to tell me he was ready to give up the search for his mate, but what he had done last night, what we had done last night together was proof of something. Or maybe that was just the hope in me burning so bright it shoved away sense, but that was what I wanted to believe.I was in love with Evan. I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to love me unquestioningly, without reserving room in his heart and mind for someone else he hadn't even met yet. Could this really be the beginning of it?The curtains over the window let in no light, and Evan must have locked the door so no housekeepers or maids would peek in for their morning cleaning routine. I peeked over the covers just in case, but we were alone in the room. With a small sigh, I dropped my head back onto the pillow."You okay?"My heart fluttered. Evan's voice was slightly scratchy, roughened wit
I would have stayed to spend the day with Evan, if not for how I had already missed several days' worth of classes from traveling to Dark Moon territory recently. Lagging even more behind would only steal time away that I could spend with him in the coming days, so despite my reluctance, I washed up and got ready to drive to campus.Evan and I showered together, and his hands lingered over my body as he ran his fingertips over the reddened marks he had left all over my shoulder and neck. I shivered, delighting in the touch I never thought I would ever feel, the touch of Alpha Evan who I'd thought I lost before I ever had him. But he went no further, keeping his touches intimate but fleeting, not arousing.He had only ever showed this tenderness to me. I'd never seen him let his guard down with anyone else. I leaned into him, eyes closed as I soaked up the warm spray of the shower and the heat of his body behind me. With a contented sigh, he wrapped his arms around me a
It was the first and only real argument we had ever had in the long weeks we had known each other. In my room, well into the night, Raf's voice rose and swelled as she demanded to know why I was throwing away the life I had just grasped with my own two hands, all for the same man who had already broken my heart.I had no defense. What did it it even mean, that I was ready to put my life on hold again for a man who had only halfway committed to me, and only in secret? What did it mean when he hadn't told me with his own mouth he would stop looking for his fated mate to replace me, and that I was simply believing in his strength that would take him there when he was ready?Rafael didn't know how to get through to me, and neither did I. I could only sit patiently while responding to her questions with understanding and no little shame, especially when she asked again and again about the house we had decorated, furnished, and gotten ready for me to live my new life in. My
Rafael hadn't been expecting Evan to yield so easily. When he told her exactly what she had never thought he would ever, ever say, it took her aback so much the room fell into silence for a long moment.I took the opportunity to put my hand on her shoulder and squeeze. "Everything is okay," I said softly. "Thank you, Raf. It's late, you should go or Leon will be worried. I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, okay?"She didn't want to leave me alone, but at the same time she must have known the moment was long-gone for her to salvage anything from it. Her hopes that Evan would show his true colors and reveal that he was a cruel monster all along had come to nothing, and while she was relieved he seemed genuine, she still didn't believe him.But time would tell, I heard her thinking. She would be sticking around to make sure nothing happened to me.Evan and I walked her downstairs to the front door and to the driveway where she had parked her car at a clumsy angl